Religious things


Something I found stuffed in my Bible cover;

AMEN:
The only part of a prayer that everyone knows.

BULLETIN:
Your receipt for attending Church.

CHOIR:
A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the congregation to lip-sync.

HOLY WATER:
A liquid whose chemical formula is H2OLY.

HYMN:
A song of praise usually sung in a key three octaves higher than most people can sing.

INCENSE:
Holy Smoke!

JONAH:
The original ‘Jaws’ story.

JUSTICE:
When your kids have kids of their own.

MAGI:
The most famous trio to attend a baby shower.

MANGER:
Where Mary gave birth to Jesus because Joseph wasn’t covered by Obamacare.

PEW:
A medieval torture device still found in many churches.

TEN COMMANDMENTS:
The most important Top Ten list not given by David Letterman.

USHERS:
The only people in the parish who don’t know the seating capacity of a pew.

Little known facts about the Catholic Church in Las Vegas :
There are more churches in Las Vegas than casinos. During Sunday services at the offertory, some worshippers contribute casino chips as opposed to cash. Some are sharing their winnings – some are hoping to win. Since they get chips from so many different casinos, and they are worth money, the Catholic churches are required to send all the chips into the diocese for sorting. Once sorted into the respective casino chips, one junior priest takes the chips and makes the rounds to the casinos turning chips into cash. And he, of course, is known as The Chip Monk.

 

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